artistryavenue:
Diana M. portrait.. by ~scata
(via artistryavenue)
mosoli:
im still laughing at this
(via sad-ice-queen)
-
Me:
Hello?
-
Telemarketer:
Hello, is your mother home?
-
Me:
I have no mother.
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Her:
Well can I speak to your father?
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Me:
Yeah, which one?
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Her:
Which one is home?
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Me:
Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
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Her:
Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
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Me:
No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
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Her:
So who's Antonio?
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Me:
I just told you, Carlos's ex.
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Her:
So Carlos was cheating?
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Me:
Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
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Her:
So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
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Me:
No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
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Her:
So Mark wasn't cheating?
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Me:
I never said that.
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Her:
Yes, yes you did!
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Me:
No I didn't.
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Her:
Y-yes! You did!
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Me:
Did what?
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Her:
Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
sad-ice-queen:
meme4u:
http://memeblock.com/
I can’t not laugh when I see this.
purplelephant24:
the fly one i can’t breathe
(Source: pleatedjeans, via whatthefluffay)
draconisblog:
tumbledore-:
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
(via tumbledore-)
attackofthepartycannon:
youcantfakeithardenoughtoplease:
I choked on my water.
la-la is the only one who notices wow
(Source: bettenshmetten, via myelephantisyourelephant)
(via frickyeah1990s)
thecompanionsdoctor:
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
(via myelephantisyourelephant)
(via myelephantisyourelephant)